Sorority & Fraternity Life: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

The Greek Life Task Force, charged by the Office of Student Life in 1998 to assess and recommend improvements in the current status of the Ohio State Greek Community, has developed the Goals and Standards of Excellence as set forth since its inception. The assessment was requested based on concern for the current state of the Greek Community. Although, the members of the Greek Life Task Force no longer meet, they set forth the Standards of Excellence, having gone into effect March 9, 2001, as a plan to improve the condition of the Greek Community whereby chapters will establish a Chapter Plan each year and will detail their progress towards attaining this plan in a yearly Chapter Annual Report. By improving the quality of life for students within the Greek Community, the Standards of Excellence purposes to achieve several goals:

• Academic achievement with a minimum GPA of 2.50 for chapters and for all new members, as well as the strive to achieve as a chapter the all-undergraduate average.
• Member and organizational growth including, but not limited to, diversity education, risk management education, and community service opportunities.
• Safe and healthy organizational environments through structural improvements in chapter facilities and improved risk management procedures.
• A strong, connected Greek Community.
• Widely recruited Advisers from the University and Community that have undergone the Adviser Certification Program.
• An improved relationship between the university and the Greek Community.
• If any of the set requirements are not met, the chapter may be called before the Greek Progress Review Board.

BAD:

My primary job as the Greek Intern, is to oversee the Standards of Excellence (SOE) Program for Sorority & Fraternity Life. In this position, I must work with difficult chapter presidents and advice chapters on programming that is in compliance with the policy. This job is difficult. Many days it challenges my patients to work with chapters that don't understand the importance of the SOE.

If I could change one thing about my position, I would increase accountability on chapter to report their information on our schedule and not their own.

GOOD:

The good thing about my position is that I get to see change first-hand. Our community has many excellent leaders that go above and beyond in their roles. I can see how my position is making a difference in the fraternity and sorority community here at OSU. 

My job is all about evaluating that progress so I enjoy seeing how chapters are making steps in the right direction toward true values congruence.

FUTURE:

While the progress has been great since the implementation of the SOE in 2001, there is still much work ahead. I am looking forward to continuing in my roles to help make Ohio State the leading Greek Community in the country. If organizations live true to their values, I have no doubt that the fraternal community would need programs like the SOE, but until that day, my position will continue to be necessary. I am proud of the work and the progress that has been made so far this past year and look forward to moving ahead in the year to come.

CS

Perfect World

In a perfect fraternal world:

• Fraternity men and women will be models of excellence and true values congruence
• Fraternity men and women will be committed to serving the community and the world
• Fraternal organizations will be ones that only the finest men and women will be selected to join
• Fraternity will redefine the mean of social on college campuses and truly build men and women of character
• The fraternal cause will no longer be about the undergraduate experience alone, but a life experience that begins as an undergraduate
• Fraternity is not about the Greek letters, but about being a part of a community of people with unique but similar visions and beliefs in creating the finest world citizens

Too often we have the ability to make change but we choose not to because change is not easy. As college students, we have the attitude that our contributions are small but this is not true. The fraternal experience has the potential to transform lives. If we live by our values as fraternity men and women, we can achieve greatness in a world that's skeptical of us. 

Fraternity men and women will be men and women of selfless-service. Greeks will no longer write checks and call it serving the community. Men and women of character will make the sacrifice of time, pleasures, and comforts to serve greater causes.

Membership should no longer be extended to anyone willing to pay dues. Joining a Greek organization should be selective and exclusive. While the fraternal organization should be in the business of building young men and women, the men and women must also bring something to the table besides a checkbook. Recruitment should never again be a struggle, because college men and women will come to us, not the other way around. Greek life will be a lifestyle that non-Greek yearn for, not avoid.

Greek life will redefine the social life on college campuses. Young men and women will be transformed through social experiences with brothers and sisters not through the party scene. Social scene will not be an exemption from values, in fact, the social scene should be a testament of values congruence.

Greek life will no longer be about the collegiate experience, but about a life transformation. Graduated brothers and sisters should no longer say "I was a brother". Instead "I am a brother". After all, these are lifetime commitments, aren't they?

The fraternal community can no longer be a community based on competition for membership. Each organization brings something unique to the table. Going Greek should be about finding the right match for the individual. The Greek experience should be a pleasant experience, and not fitting in the right organization, is the worst scenario. Being Greek should be a source of pride and we should be proud of our whole community, not just the letters we wear. 

Change is happening!

Opportunity vs. Delimma

The almighty President Gee once said that different times call for different leaders--he said it's a matter of matching the right leader to the right situation.

Here in the Ohio State Greek Community, a new storm is brewing. Opportunity has never been higher and neither has the motivation to make improvement in the Sorority & Fraternity Community. Unfortunately, it is not the responsibilities of leaders to single-handedly do ALL the work themselves either. Leaders have a responsibility to empower others and make change through motivation!

As individuals with influence on chapter leaders, we have an amazing opportunity to correct the wrongs and ensure that we leave a Greek Community here at Ohio State that is truly working toward actual values congruence. 

We have the opportunity to eliminate stereotypes, build men and women of character, commit ourselves to service, and live the ritual every day. The dilemma does not rest in our ability, but rather, our actions. As community leaders it's one thing to come up with grand plans, but it's another to bring those plans to fruition. 

Here at The Ohio State University, we have the opportunity to lead the way in redefining the fraternal movement. We have capable leadership and the resources to make change happen--we must make others aware that change is necessary too. The timing is perfect.

Greek Racists, Aristocrats, Homophobes, Sexists & More!

The dictionary defines the term discrimination as "the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, esp. on the grounds of race, age, or sex".

In the fraternity and sorority community, we are as guilty as any for  being "exclusive" and "elitist": we know these opinions exist and we're okay with them, aren't we? My fraternity is exclusive in its selection of members and often we turn away members that just don't "fit the mold" and even remove members that don't live up to our standards even after they've been initiated. These decisions are made--not based on the color of skin, sexual orientation, or the money in parents' bank accounts--these decisions are made based on values and character, not discrimination. Or so I thought.

Last week while attending one of my fraternity's "leadership" conferences in Atlanta, Georgia I was struck by a newly apparent and real threat to the fraternal cause. A threat that many often brush under the rug, ignore, and knowingly disregard.

In the picture above, standing on the left is a member of the Tennessee chapter of FarmHouse Fraternity and on the right, the head honcho, mac-daddy, a.k.a. The Executive Director of FarmHouse International Fraternity. This picture was taken at the opening session of the conference shortly after the brothers arrived at the Peach Tree Hotel in downtown Atlanta. At the session, the Executive Director himself led discussion about the expectations of the conference. As you can clearly see in the photo, the boy on the left is wearing a t-shirt proudly displaying the Confederate Flag (a former symbol of the Confederate Army--now commonly used as a symbol of white supremacy). Some ignorantly argue that this is a symbol of "rural values"--this rebuttal sickens me to the core.

As many of you know, I grew up in a rural community and was proud to have grown up in a town where everyone knew everyone else and took care of their neighbors, for the most part, as they would their own families. I remember when I was younger, Mark & Erica (my parents' best friends) would always come by the house for dinner and to hang out with our family. My mom and Erica went through nursing school at the same time and worked for the county MRDD as floor nurses together for over 10 years!  

Mark & Erica waited until much later to have children of their own and we always called them aunt Erica & uncle Mark. Finally, a little over a year ago, Mark & Erica were blessed with their first son, Mark, Jr.! Mark & Erica have decided to raise baby Mark in our rural hometown and attend the small school system that my sisters' and I attended. They are proud of where they live and hope that baby Mark is influenced by the rural lifestyle. Does that mean he'll one day be donning his rebel flag at fraternity leadership conferences--I think not.

Now, back to the point of this blog... I think it goes without saying that the rebel flag does not represent rural values, nor does it have anything to do with states right anymore either. The rebel flag is a symbol of hatred! The Southern Poverty Law Center even notes that the rebel flag is used as a symbol for over "500" white supremacist organizations.

As Chad, the executive director, began calling on individuals (without acknowledging the racist scribe's shirt) to come up with group expectations, his trusty scribe wrote them onto the easel pad. Some of the ground rules that Chad mentioned were things like: not wearing hats to sessions, using manners, and participating in the sessions. I WAS FURIOUS! In my opinion, this was the perfect opportunity for a lecture on eliminating stereotypes around the name "FARMHOUSE", but he preferred to talk about not wearing hats instead! ...What was about to happen during this conference-expectations session reassured me that my choice to join ALPHA TAU ZETA--A farmhouse chapter--really was the right choice for me...

Zach, a new member of my chapter, was sitting next to me and quickly caught on to the situation and raised his hand to contribute to the "expectations". When Chad called on Zach, he stood up and said "my expectation is that we be open-minded and leave our prejudices behind us". At that point I stood and gave my 2 cents about being "open to diversity". After that, the other ATZ chapter brother stood up and echoed again: "to be accepting of differences". At that point, it was obvious that the comments were directed toward the racist's shirt. A few minutes later we went on a 10 minute break before beginning the programming. When the next session began, the Tennessee chapter member re-entered the room with a different shirt (and hopefully a different perspective). I was proud of my group for representing the ATZ chapter and Ohio State so well and I hope we made a difference that day. 

Can you imagine the change that we could make if we began truly living the values of our organizations and stood up against injustice and discrimination within our own groups? Unfortunately, hatred runs much deeper than tasteless t-shirts. Hatred is alive and flourishing within our community whether it's blatant or masked. Here's where the problem lies though: Exclusivity is at the root of our organizations--I'll be the first to say that I don't want just anyone in my fraternity! The problems don't lie in being selective in standards for membership, it's about discrimination! 

The first thing that comes to mind, sadly, when I think of discrimination in the Greek community is the themes for our social events. Themes like: White Trash Bash; Cowboys & Indians; Immigrants & Border Partol; Sex & Execs; CEOs & Hos; and the list goes on! Take a look at some of the discriminatory parties in the news below:

• Tarleton State
• University of California, San Diego
• Auburn
• University of Georgia
• Johns Hopkins University

To be honest, it disgusts me how the community shrugs off the issue of diversity awareness here at THE Ohio State University. For example, chapters that report for their diversity program, they "watched YouTube videos of a racist Simpson Episode and had a discussion", or that chapters "attended a Step Show", or that the long list of other ridiculous diversity awareness programs that chapters report to simply meet requirements. We will never be capable of building a community of true unity if we don't learn how to accept each others differences as men and women of values. Whether those differences are racist or differences such as gender, sexuality, income, religion, lifestyle, or affiliation, we must overcome discrimination in our community through education.

Too often our OSU Greek organizations view commitment to diversity as a minimum standard instead of an opportunity for growth.

As leaders of the sorority and fraternity community, we must be committed to holding Greek men and women accountable to living lives of character--not ignorance; open-mindedness--not hatred; tolerance--not bigotry. 

It is my hope that chapters continue to be exclusive in the members they retain and the new ones they select based on values and character, not their god-given traits. After all, the fraternal community will be no stronger than the quality of its members. 

Exclusion does not = Discrimination.

Uh Oath! Commitment?

On April 18, 2009 I swore my oath to the Alpha Tau Zeta Chapter of FarmHouse Fraternity.

Making this commitment to my fraternity did not mean I was selling my soul or giving away ANYTHING of mine. In fact, the only thing I gave them was my "word". I committed myself to living the values of my fraternity and promised to hold my fellow brothers accountable when they fell short. 

Less than one year later, I am one of only a small number of brothers with the secret combination to our safe where our ritual is kept. Every once in a while I think about bringing this book out of the safe to share with the chapter "outside" of the scheduled ritual during our initiation ceremony. I think that this is important, especially when our members' values begin to slip. Similar to renewing wedding vowels, this would be a reminder of the sacrifice we made by swearing to the oath and giving our "word" and the commitment that the oath entailed. 

Each of our oaths are different but I'm certain that they're all very much the same. The day I took the oath to my fraternity was a very special day for me because I then became a part of something unique. My oath would probably mean very little to another fraternity or sorority member, just like anyone else's oath would probably mean little to me. The importance of the oath is to reinforce and verbally express one's commitment. Whether that commitment be to service, leadership, integrity, progress, etc., each of us was impacted by the commitment that we made to our organizations. Every oath is unique but they are all about the same theme: commitment.

"Secrets Don't Make Friends": Myth, Fact, or Neither?

First of all, this week was insane! Midterms completely threw off my daily routine and I think I am finally getting caught up. On a normal day, I wake up brush my teeth, take a shower, get ready to go to work, go to the Union, class, and then back to the house for more work. I pretty much do the same thing every weekday almost ritualistic. This week was a bit of an exception with midterms, papers, and projects along with the crazy schedule. Yesterday, when I woke up, I hit the alarm clock 6 times! Usually I get in the habit of only hitting it once or maybe twice, but yesterday was horrible and completely destroyed my routine.

In fraternities, we have LOTS of "routines" too. Some of these routines are great--they keep us value-oriented and on track. Just like brushing our teeth "the same way and in the same order" every morning, these routines occur with little thought and are consistent from day-to-day; year-to-year; and even decade-to-decade. My guess is that this is a shared mutual experience that I have with all of YOU. You all brush your teeth in the morning right? This morning routine is a lot like our fraternity and sorority "routine". The brand of toothpaste may change over time as improvements are made and preferences demand modifications--but it essentially stays exactly the same.

My fraternity ritual has changed significantly over the years, yet it has stayed exactly the same. As my fraternity has undergone its merger with FarmHouse Intl. our ritual has been added to significantly. We still keep out local ritual which makes us unique here at Ohio State. FarmHouse publishes its ritual online, while the ATZ (chapter) keeps ours locked securely in our safe. The questions is: do I think this ritual makes our fraternity what it is? The answer: yes and no.

I think it's great that fraternities have secrets. Those secrets are a shared mutual experience that is only between brothers and bonds them together and distinguishes them from others. Let's talk about the friends we have outside of our fraternities for a minute. I have secrets with my friends (contrary to the saying "secrets don't make friends"). It's not those secrets that make me friends with them though. What makes me friends with my closest friends is all the shared experiences and stories we have together and knowing each other almost as well as we know ourselves. That's what friendships are all about.

While I do believe that fraternity secrets are an element of shared experiences that unite individuals-- I don't believe it's the only key to fraternalism. My fraternity has its share of secrets. I don't think that's what makes us a good fraternity though. What makes us a good fraternity is that we work well as a team and at the end of the day, we all committed ourselves to a shared system of values. Don't let this beautiful image of fraternity fool you though. The fraternity is not an environment where we all sit around the campfire and sing Koom-Bya either. We have our disagreements--if we didn't, there would be any need for the vote or even meetings for that matter. Just like friends arguing over what restaurants to go to, we fight over things like parties, rules, requirements, dues, apparel, etc. This is what relationships are all about.

There are MANY fraternities that have partial or even ALL their ritual published online. I don't think that sharing those rituals is a bad thing though. In my opinion it's just a different approach to Fraternity than the traditional. Personally, I like that my fraternity has its secrets--but it's not what makes us a fraternity though.

Whether a fraternity claims to be free of secrets or not, I guarantee there are secrets... It might not be about the ritual, initiations, or secret handshake, but there are secrets nonetheless. Whether its a biggest fear of a brother or an out-of-this-world dream that someone had--all people have secrets. For more understanding on the importance of "knowing information that others don't" watch this video on how to develop deeper and deeper relationships (kinda boring, but it gives a pretty basic overview): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FcoyU5VtHY

The interesting thing about social penetration, is that the more you know about a person, the closer you are to them. Why do we love our parents as much as we do? It's all about social penetration and shared mutual experiences. That's what brings us together... While secrets can play a role, it's not the defining factor for Fraternities.

SO what does this all mean? It means different things to different fraternities.

You Want Us to Do What?

In this course so far, we're learning a lot about "living our ritual".

The only thing I have to say about this is--if you don't know your values, how do you expect to live a values-based life? It's kinda like being a heart surgeon but not knowing the difference between a vein or an artery OR being a banker and not knowing how to count OR being a pastor and have never read the gospel.

To be 100% REAL, here's where I think the problem lies: when we take new members into our organizations, we have these REALLY HIGH expectations of them to learn our values, history, purpose, founders, and all else but then the education stops there. Why do we have Directors/Masters/VPs of New Member Education but not Total Member Education? Why do we put so much emphasis on those coming into our organizations but not those that are IN or organizations? Maybe this problem is just an IFC issue but I know that it exists abundantly in our community and the interviews last Friday proved just that.

If we were to walk down the streets and ask people to provide some words that describe what it means "to be an American", here are some responses you'd probably get: freedom, liberty, justice, innovation, enterprise, etc. etc. etc.

If you were to walk down the street and poll the regular "passer byer" on what it means to be "in a fraternity or sorority", can you imagine the responses you'd get? Think about it for a minute... All it takes is one news headline. One story from a friend. One facebook post. Here's the very scary thing: there are 3,000 people in our community! All it takes is one.

Like I've said in other posts--I'm not a fan of being a whistle-blower unless there's a solution to the problem... Here it is once again: ACCOUNTABILITY. Let's hold ALL members of our organizations as accountable as we hold our new members. Let's call out active members during meetings to recite the object (that's not hazing--if so I'm reporting my Poli Sci prof!). Let's change the title of our VP/Director/Master/Captain of New Member Education to Total Member Education. Let's have our members' facebook pages monitored to ensure that they're living their values on the web. Let's implement an alcohol-free facility policy. We know the problems. They're in the headlines, we hear them from non-Greeks everyday--why don't we act? The answer: WE'RE COWARDS.

Let's start living that ritual. Why do we disgrace heroes like Martin Luther King or Abraham Lincoln in our blogs (people that died for social change) if we are too coward to even speak up and be bold. The ONLY thing that a member would sacrifice is criticism. Can you imagine if just ONE member of a party "frat" (yes, i used the f-word) made a motion in a chapter meeting to ban alcohol in their chapter facilities?! That's heroism. Stop worrying about political correctness and instead worry about correcting problems.

Just Do It!


Another Angry Rant,


Clark Siddle